AVENUE Q ONE NIGHT STAND CONTEST
Joe Kovacs interviews Miss Greta Green


Joe Kovacs, creator of Miss Greta Green

Where were you born?
I was born a chaise lounge in a small furniture maker’s workshop over looking the Ohio River. At the time they weren’t sure if the town would be called “Porkapolis” or “Cincinnati.” To me, it will always be “The Queen City of the West.”

Where were you raised?
Raised? Well, I guess you can say I was raised on the floor. I spent the first few years of my life down on all fours. I lived and worked on an old Show Boat on the Ohio River, "The Show Boat Majestic." Until one day I was fashioned into a Full Body Figure for a murder play/bedroom farce called “Knock, Knock, Knocked Up... Nobody’s Home.” I played the deceased.

Where do you live now?
I rent a lovely, slightly moldy basement in beautiful Astoria, New York. But at the moment I spend most nights sleeping in a suitcase in a lovely, slightly moldy basement in Chelsea on the Island of Manhattan.

What are your hobbies and interests?
I'm very interested in the fine art of drinking. It's more then a hobby, it's become a way of life. I enjoy calling Bingo while drinking. Singing while drinking... If I had knees I'm sure I could do things on them as well ... while drinking.

Where did you attend school? High School? College?
Back in my day, ladies of my stature didn’t attend any type of schooling. But, around 1920 I taught myself to read the written word so I wouldn’t miss an issue of Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang or the writing on the wall.

So, how did you learn about Avenue Q and Win A One Night Stand?
A dear old friend of mine from back home, Jhon (spelled correctly) Marshall sent me a lovely on-line message telling me all about the contest. But, being of a different age and not being very computer savvy, it took me weeks to open it. But with just an hour to spare I read it, answered the few insightful questions and sent it off into cyber land.

How has winning the contest affected your life?
On the upside, I’ve been out burning the midnight oil, celebrating at many hot spots here in the Big Apple. On the downside, The unrelenting paparazzi have been camped outside my home and at The View Bar where I call Bingo on Friday nights. Snapping some of the most terrible tabloid snapshots ever seen. I’ve even had to drive with a baby on my lap to get away from the madness. But I, along with my hair, am holding up fine.

Have you ever been to New York before?
There’s no place like home!

What things do you hope to do on the upcoming trip to New York?
Trip…??? Why, what do you have?

Why do you think Avenue Q is such an overwhelming success?
In the immortal words of Adler and Ross. “You've gotta have heart! Miles 'n miles n' miles of heart!” And nothing is as warm and fuzzy, as a fake fur covered heart that swears like a sailor and F*$#!s like a bunny.

What is your favorite moment in the show Avenue Q?
I’m a sucker for sentiment… Kate Monster singing “There’s A Fine, Fine Line” melts my icy heart and makes me want to drink even more. If I had tear ducts or a soul… I’d cry.

Which of the Q cast members are you most looking forward to meeting, and why?
The Bad Idea Bears! I’ve got a few bad ideas that will singe the fur right off those hot little bears.

Tell us why you think you should win the opportunity to appear on stage with the Cast of Avenue Q.
I’m what’s missing from Avenue Q. I’m the un-insightful old broad with too many animals, who drinks too much, lives in the basement and only comes out at night. Oh... and makes the children cry.

One of the chief themes of Avenue Q is to find purpose in life. Can you tell us what YOUR purpose is in life?
To whisk others away from the reality of their day-to-day worlds. To make them laugh, and drink a hell of a lot of cheap booze while doing it.

Anything else you’d like to say to all the fans out there that chose you as their favorite?
I’d like to thank, from the bottom of my fur-covered heart, those of you who have found it in yours (hopefully not fur-covered) to vote for me. And for the undecided few, my cocktail runneth over and I’d like to let it runneth all over you as well. Please, Vote For me…and DRINK!